


new guy (pilot)

by paxatonic



Series: New Girl AU [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Bartender Dean, Cheating, F/F, F/M, Lawyer Sam, M/M, New Girl - Freeform, Roommates, Teacher Castiel, Writer Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paxatonic/pseuds/paxatonic
Summary: pt 1: Cas decided to come home early to give his girlfriend April a sexy surprise, but finds he's the one being surprised. Now he's heartbroken and a little bit homeless.-based on the (AMAZING) TV show "New Girl," pretty much entire story is adapted from it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I take the ACT tomorrow so I stress wrote this and idk if I'd be able to do a good chapter story so I'm taking a swing at series work. This is the pilot episode of New Girl if you've never seen the show wATCH IT it's gr8

“So, you know in horror movies when the girls are like "Oh my god, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like "what is your problem? Call the police", and she's like "okay" but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, er, my story's kind of like that.”

-

“Yes, I’m in the cab right now, Gabe,” Cas spoke into the phone, trying to maintain monotone.

“I’m so proud of my little bro!” Gabe cheered. “You’re growing up. Just be careful not to be stopped by any cops; a man naked under a trench coat in downtown LA is not everyone’s favorite person.”

“I think I’ll be okay. It’s not like I’m doing errands along the way… only April will get to see me. And the cab driver.” Cas covered the phone and spoke to the man driving the car, “thank you again for stopping, sir. I was starting to get cold.”

“Why exactly are you doing this, again?” Gabe asked.

“It’s a surprise for April. She said she has this fantasy that I’m a male stripper with a heart of gold and she’s helping to put me through college.”

There was a pause before his older brother responded, “she didn’t really say that last part, did she?”

“Well… no. I wanted to create a three dimensional sex character. I'm an aspiring performer just a little down on my luck.”

“Of course you did, Cassy. What’s your stripper name?”

“Uh… Richard… big… rich-dick, ah…” Cas stammered. This was, unfortunately, the part he hadn’t considered.

“You give it some more thought, big guy. Still proud of you, though! No matter how weird the trenchcoat thing may be. You’d think the fantasy was flasher, not striper. No judgements here, though.”

The ride to the apartment he shared with April was another short ten minutes. Luckily none of their neighbors were outside as he made his way in, slamming the door and dropping the coat to the living room floor.

“Hello? I came home early!” He called.

“Cas?” April’s voice came from behind him, half an octave higher than usual.  She was dressed in a tanktop and underwear, hair disheveled and signs of anxiety and confusion on her face. “You’re home!”

He turned and mustered up a flirty smirk. “Who’s cas? You’re talking to… the Sperminator.”

Her eyes widened and mouth hung open as Cas continued to try and find a seductive pose, first by holding a pillow over his manhood and then abandoning it and grabbing onto a nearby plant, which toppled over.

“I’ll… clean that up later.” He turned around and swayed a little, singing softly- “Who’s that guy? Who’s that guy~? It’s Cas!” He spun and saw another person who had emerged from their bedroom- a tall man, blond-haired blue-eyed, who was dressed only in his underwear.

A wave of dread washed over him, understanding what was going on. The bow dropped to the floor with a sad  _ plop _ .

 

-

 

“So. That’s why I need a new apartment. I’m sorry, what was the question again?”

The three potential roommates sat across form him on the couch, silent and fairly confused. The one on the end, a man with dirty blond hair, freckles and a jawline that could cut a man coughed awkwardly. “Uh, do you have any pets?”

“Oh.” Cas tore his eyes away from the attractive man. “Uh, no. I am fond of animals, however.” There was a short silence before he spoke again, addressing the only girl. “So, you wrote the add?”

She was a redheaded woman, wearing a very casual burgundy sweater and graphic-T underneath. The other two wore flannels each, and it was likely the cornerstone of their entire wardrobe. The girl, he recalls vaguely her name to be Charlie, shakes her head. “Nope. Ol’ Sammy wrote it up.” She slapped the shoulder of the large man besides her.

“Oh,” Cas tilted his head. “I was sure a woman had written it.”

The attractive man snorted with laughter, prompting Sam to hit him in the back of the head before turning back. “That’s weird, no, why uh, why would you think that?”

“The language, I suppose. Things like “sun-soaked” and “bieg-y.”

“Yup, that’s Samantha for ya.” The attractive man was still laughing.

“Oh, shut up, Dean.” Sam rolled his eyes, and they started to bicker among themselves.

Charlie leaned towards Cas, “They’re brothers, so this kind of stuff happens all the time.”

“Oh, I understand.” He smiled fondly. “I have quite the large family, and we definitely don’t get along smoothly.” As the fighting wound down Cas stood up, getting a better look around the open space of the loft. “This really is quite the place. So much space! There wasn’t as much room at my last place; at least, April’s things took it all up.”

“Well, there’s plenty of space here, do you want to see the bedroom?” Charlie asked.

Cas was silent for a beat. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had my own room. Sleeping alone, wow…”

“Don’t worry, man, Dean knows exactly how you feel.” Sam nudged his brother. “He just got dumped, too.”

Dean snorted. “Did  _ not! _ I broke up with Lisa. I don’t even miss her, man.” 

“Tell that to the monthly voicemails you leave her begging for her to take you back.” Sam laughed, standing up to face Cas, who had wandered around the back of the couch. “Is there anything we should know about you?”

“Well, uh, I’m a teacher, so I bring home a lot of crafts and gifts around the holidays. I sing sometimes when I’m sad, or happy or… bored. I am going through a breakup and it’s pretty tough, so I’ll probably be watching Dirty Dancing pretty much constantly for awhile. Uh, my best-friend/brother is a model, and he may be over here sometimes. He’s kind of a handful but likable.”

Both Dean and Charlie’s heads shot up at the mention of  _ model _ , probably with lots of follow-up questions, but Sam spoke before they could. “Great. The room is the first one on the right down that hallway over there if you wanna take a look. Guys, let’s go talk it over?”

 

Sam shut the bathroom door behind them, turning to Dean and Charlie. “What do you guys think?”

“Yes.” Charlie shot right away. “Yes, please if there is a god, yes. His friends are  _ models.  _ Do you hear me?  _ Models! _ ”

“Guy models,” he pointed out.

“What, do you think guy and girl models don’t talk? And don’t pretend you don’t want some of that male-model action, Winchester!”

Sam sighed and shook his head. “I gotta say no. School is already so stressful, I’ve gotta have a place to relax when I get home, and some obviously emotionally-fragile man on our couch is not relaxing! Who’s gonna deal with him when the going gets rough?”

“You’re good at that lovey-dovey, feelings and comfort shit, Sammy.” Dean shrugged, earning an eye-roll.

“So, Dean, what will it be?” Charlie planted her hands on her hips.

The man sighed, crossing his arms. “Well, you both make good points. I am concerned about how emotional this guy might be, but I do think it’s quite an opportunity to pass up, the models.”  _ Not to mention he’s pretty attractive, too.  _ “So, ah, as the decider, I have to give it a yes.”

“Yes!” A deep voice cheered from behind the bathroom door. Sam opened it and Cas was standing there, smiling. “You won’t regret this decision, I promise.”

Well, they’d probably regret it a few times.


End file.
